Day 01 -> Something you hate about yourself

Hmmmm something i hate about myself.... is there enough space on this?
Lets see... physically i hate the way i look, i have a gut, i hate it, i dont drink nor eat like a pig yet...its there, my calves are muscly, i have broad shoulders, my body is stocky but muscly....YET theres that damn gut... i cant get rid of it....and i HATE IT...
I hate that im short  sometimes, im 5 foot 8 and i generally dont mind it but sometimes i wish i was taller.


Now what else i hate about myself, i hate the fact that i am very laid back, i am trusting, i have 100 bucks, id buy you something, and id buy myself nothing, i worry about ppl, i am protective, i dont let things get to me, if theres a sink full of dishes at 5pm i wont wash them until after dinner so i do one load, whereas most ppl i know will wash the breakfast load, the lunch load and anything in between, i am not punctual, because im carefree to the point of not giving a shit about ANYTHING... when ppl insult me i dont get angry i just dont care, if someone cuts me off il mumble to myself but 2 secs later im over it. 
Some ppl might think thats not that bad, why hate yourself for being that way well... ppl mistake my carefree demeanor as being lazy... "you are lazy you didnt make the bed 5 seconds after you got up!"
in reality i was going to make it after i shower, have breakfast and read the paper, WHY does it have to be made before your feet touch the floor?????
Also my trusting was a part of my marriage ending... i trusted my ex wife and well i wont go into that but it involves my ex best friend and sex in my house while i worked....
i worry and am protective to the point of not sleeping thinking how ppl are, you could live in the states and we could have never ever met, but if u tell me something is wrong il worry until you tell me all is well.... sux.. i am always thinking and hoping all is well...


the last thing i hate about myself is that im HOPELESS with money. i spend it on ppl before anything, my carefree demeanor meant that if a bill was due, i would "pay it later" and i'd forget.
Now because of the divorce and child support i cant afford to buy a house, so when i see my poor kids surrounded by 4 walls in the appartment, it breaks my heart and i feel like a failure of a father..... then my deppression starts....


Anyhow that is what i HATE about myself.........